I recently began a series for Men Only and Women Only that will be featured here on my blog as well as on our podcast.
This blog is for the ladies.........
The comparison game is alive and well amongst women. Yes, not all women are guilty of this however there is sometimes a competitive spirit amongst women in how they measure up as moms that is equivalent to men and their sports' teams.
I have heard these before..........
"She works full time and her kids are in daycare full time. What kind of mom is that!!"
"Can you believe her? She does not get her child vaccinnated with the flu shot! That is dirty!"
"Me time? What is me time? Must be nice to have me time!"
"Not sure why she is stressed. She only has (insert number of kids) and I have more kids than her!"
These are all dangerous. Dangerous because what starts as a comment can turn into a darkened heart. Even worse, if hearts go unchecked, unfiltered, and unexamined before God and others, what is merely opinions of one mom of another turns into a US VERSUS THEM mentality. Let me break down some assumptions, friends.....
"She works full time and her kids are in daycare full time. What kind of mom is that!"---Maybe this mother has no choice to work full time. Or...maybe she just likes working and earning money doing what she does best as a job/career. Maybe that family is paying off their debt. And look at the kid in daycare. Kids that are around other kids learn social skills, conflict resolution strategies, and make friends. Is that a bad thing?
"Can you believe her? She does not get her child vaccinnated with the flu shot. That is dirty!!"---The vaccinnation topic is hot in our country. The flu shot is an interesting topic because the shot has not been effective for alot of people. I have seen both sides of vaccinnations. I have seen them do great things. I have also see them make people severely sick. I had the flu shot when our daughter was a baby and I almost landed in the hospital due to side effects on my spleen/internal organs. Our daughter recently had the MMR vaccination that everyone is hype about---she spiked a nasty fever and was sick for a few days. Get to know why people choose to get a shot or don't.
"Me time. What is me time? Must be nice to have me time!!"---Taking care of yourself is vital to being a good mom/parent. Find a mom who gets some "me time" and you will find a more peaceful household. Here is the tricky part. Every women/mom/women with no kids needs to know what some down time looks like. Does that mean you go by yourself to Starbucks or meet a friend for lunch? Do you need a hobby? Does your kids need to spend some extra time with dad while you take a nap, read a book, or shop? Listen here. Make sure you get me time and your significant other gets me time too. Also, get some dates with your spouse. Don't fall into the guilt trip you may hear from other women that "it must be nice to go on dates". Find what works for you and your family.
"Not sure why she is stressed. She only has (insert number of kids) and I have more kids than her!"---This one strikes a woman to her very core. For some reason, women like to compare how many kids they have to other women and their justification for stress based on how many kids they have, etc. Again, I am not saying this is all women but I hear it often in many circles. A woman's worth is not based on how many kids they have. Some women cannot have many children or any at all. Some women do not want to be moms and that is their God given right. Additionally, we do not know why someone is really stressed unless we know their story.
Other debates that women (and men) find themselves in:
The US VERSUS Them battles:
•Private/religious school VS public school
•Vaccinnations VS none
•Churched VS unchurched
•Organic VS non organic foods
•Always dressed to impress VS comfy in jeans and hoody
•Rich VS poor
•Overweight VS skinny
How do you combat the comparison game?
1. Check yourself. Pray. Talk to God or someone who will put in check. Know you are not perfect and never will be. And none of us are perfect. And that is ok. Our flaws give us chance for grace.
2. Know other women's stories. Do not assume you know someone through their Facebook status or the size of their house.
3. Perception VS reality. What we perceive is often not true about others unless we know them. Perception is what we see. Reality is truth. Know the difference.
4. Be you. Additionally, be yourself. Don't be someone you are not. Know that your beauty is found in God.
I will be tackling the topic of Real Beauty in my next podcast. Continue to follow us during this redemptive series.